Back at it again…
Found some of my music that’s been lost to myself for 8 plus years.
It’s amazing going back and listening these songs. Each one a iny little audio sensory glimpse into that time and expirence.
Listening to them evokes the emotion of the time it was when it was made… it’s a bit like slaming into a brick wall…. boom the intense emotions I suddenly feel all over again.
At the same time, I now have my feet grounded so I can stop myself, and pull the teather to bring myself back around out of that intensity.
It’s a real trip to hear these and it’s awakened my synethesia, which and of it’s self is a bit disorentiening.
Oh don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining…. infact I’ve been wanting to beable to acess this part of myself I sealed off so long ago.
I just know that I have to do it in careful doses. I have to keep my feet teathered to the floor as my mind wanders. There’s much I want to write and explore but at this moment I think I need to just let myself listen and digest.
In the mean time I’m droping a picture that was on this tresure trove of things discovered and still in the process of being discovered. This (the picture below) was one of my most terible tragic emotinal times in my life and yes this picture I took then is so bueatiful.
Yes it’s of myself but what’s the difference oft hat or using a model to tell a artistic story… the difference was I was my own canvas. I was trying to tell the story then for myself now to understand.
To see the pain, to under stand what was happening to myself then, SO that I could see now so many years later…so that I could see eactly where I crawled out of.
I know as the reader you likely don’t know any of the back story…. or prehaps you do a very few people do..but most likely you have no clue and I’m just some stranger ranting here on a page… and that’s ok too….
I’m not writing for you… I’m writing for myself and I just happen to have this set to public and allow others the invited intrusuion.
So here you go… I present the tragicly bueatiful geshia girl
SO much emotion dripping off the page and I’m glad that the person I was then documented things… this whole adventure is really an acheology dig into the psyche.
To really know ones self you have to dig down and know where you’ve been and how you’ve gotten to the place you are…
anyway… this is what I have to share for today. It’s time to hit publish on my post and turn off the computer. Turn off the music and the visuals and let myself decompress.
Till tomarrow my dear self and whoever may be following along. Enjoy this invited introusion.