I did it again, I went down the databack stream that I almost forgot about. There’s got to be something said for how extensively I documented the time when I was fragged. SO many different personas…it’s strange to have these documentations…because they instantly draw me back to that time in space. It’s like a rush, sometimes adrenaline and sometimes depression, sometimes I withdraw and have self loathing.
A part of me hates myself and yet I have to realize that if I hadn’t have experienced the things that I did… I’d probably still be fragged…trying to tie the pieces to geather.
I feel like I’m still holding on for dear life. All the loose strings wrapped around me keeping me in place and yet pulling on me like a puppet.
Learning to jump the wave. The conversation in my head is a game of chess played out internally with rules that are skewed.
The queen is left for dead Jack is all tragic and I’m riding off with the white knight backwards across the board.