Before I was a postmodern tease, I was just a geek girl
So I’m still uncovering things… the progress is slow as I have to carefully monitor my time and assess the emotions that are brought up as I pour over these images, music, musings, and written documentary of traumatic events during that time period.
I was pleasantly surprised to unearth this picture. This is the 16 year old me. This was my freshman year of highschool. The funny things is I can remember that exact day.. I can tell you where I was sitting and who took the picture and what’s in my hand/lap. It’s very strange to have such memory/emotional recall…. and that’s something that I’ve realized that I ‘ve had all my life. It’s a stem of the symentesia of sorts… and a part of why for so long I was full of chaos, swirling emotions, disjointed thoughts.
For now I think I’m going to withhold the back story of this picture. Instead I’m just going to publish it here for myself. I’m going to enjoy the pure joy radiating off my face and not go down to the deeper rabbit hole from this particular day…. I know cryptic as you the reader has no idea of what I’m talking about.. but again this is my adventure not yours. SO, for my own self sanity… I’m going to publish this and perhaps I’ll touch down on it another day.. fo right now I’m just going to enjoy the happiness and remember what my real life avatar was before I because the person that I am in the here and now.