It’s so strange to get that validation that you so desperately crave.
When you have that, you still question if it’s real or just a construct to knowingly or subconscious. Either way it’s still a drain to take.
Trust is something that always has been hard for me. I want so desperately to have a connection any connection, that I have blindly given it only to be used and hurt in the end for a farce.
In society we have so much that we fake.
The digital personalies, the core, the mother, the friend, the sister, the drunk, the addict, the bipolar, the depressed, the manic, the anorexic, the proud, the stupid, these are all examples of personalites that I have been. Each one has levels and subsets.
Public and private life will splinter you just as each mask you wear takes a chunk of your soul.
Take, take, take
They withdraw on your soul bringing your personal balance down
You attempt in a desperate cycle that you are bound to to enrich your personal balance.
However in the end you still end up drained and alone. I guess the question is how do you really break free. How do you stop letting others define you and truly just be you.
That is the question I am searching for.
The inner adventure to find myself and remove the masks others have projected onto me, and I have agreed to wear unthinkingly.
Break the silence
Break the habit
Break the control.
I wil do things for me amd me only.